The easy answer when dealing with second thoughts is to say to yourself, 'I believe in my dreams, goals and desires, I know that the support I’m seeking to fulfil them starts with me.'
… But what about when that just doesn’t cut it, maybe you’re having an off-day or your self-confidence is flagging.
So, let’s rewind a bit …. We don’t all want the same things, but we all have our own pattern. I’ll talk more about what this means over the coming weeks, but one of the biggest issues presented by clients, in their second thoughts category is, ‘Who or what else might be affected?’
When you decide that you want something, you probably go through a thought process, whether you’re aware of it or not. It may include things like, ‘Is what I want within my control?’
When making a decision, a question you can ask yourself that will make second thoughts less powerful is ...
‘If my goal was a wish and I could fulfil it straight away would I take it?’
Lots of people share their dreams and goals with people closest to them, but these are often the people who’ll be most impacted by change, often what they’ll see as negative impact …. because they’re humans too and are triggered by change – even good change! I know we’re crazy aren’t we?
If you've considered this impact and decided you want it anyway, telling these people can be a free source of second thoughts. You will need to decide when important people should be told, but when you’re having doubts, and you just need that little confidence boost to keep you going, if you can’t find the reserves from WITHIN YOU then try to speak to someone who’s on your side…. unconditionally.
Finding the ‘right’ supporter for each of the changes in your life can make the difference in having the life you want or living someone else's idea of the dream life.
If you’re struggling to find this person from your circle of friends and family then you could consider getting a coach ... or better still a mentor ... someone who's already been there and done it!
... In our next post I'll share with you how to make the right choice of mentor, coach, in fact all different types of external support.
Clare Legge is an experienced coach and psychotherapist. Specialising in trauma, attachment, transitions and self-worth issues.